Today I am sad. Again. I was thinking of that song, "Something More" by Sugarland on the way home today..."I need a little less hard time. I need a little more bliss."
My friend, Jennifer, is hurting. Her dad died of a massive heart attack this morning. He was a great man. She is a great woman. They are a great family. I don't get it. Please don't try to explain it to me. I won't believe you when you say that there's a reason for everything. What reason is there for such sorrow? Seriously? He was only 67. When my mom died more than one person told me that things happen for a reason. I think that's an absolutely ridiculous thing to say. Things happen. And sometimes things suck. Do I doubt that God is in control? Not really. But I still don't get it. More and more I am wondering what it's all about. When I talked to Jennifer today I could hear in her voice that same thing I heard and have heard in my voice ever since my mom died. Just complete shock and disbelief. Why? Why now? Why us?
I can't even discuss it. I just needed to say (write) it. You can read about Jennifer's dad here. Dr. Corts left a huge mark on life.
Speaking of the Sugarland song...I got that one in my head because I'm looking forward to Blissdom '09 this weekend. (Bliss? What's that?) Anyway, I'm really excited about sharing the weekend with these amazing women and getting to hear Jen Lancaster live and in person. (I am, as you know, a HUGE fan.) My ticket to the conference was a gift from Bobbie Jo, and I think it was the perfect gift for me in lots of ways. PJ is going to Nashville with me so I'm also looking forward to a weekend away with him. I hope we get to see my little bro and his fiancee while we are there...and we might even take in the Opry one night.
Blissdom '09 is all about blogging...and more and more I'm realizing that blogging is a huge part of my life...both the writing of my blog and the reading of other blogs. Blogging is how I will leave a part of me here when I am gone. It and scrapbooking, for me, are about leaving a mark. I saw this quote on the Scrap, Etc. event site recently and thought it summed up my perspective quite nicely:
"Above all else it is about leaving a mark that I existed: I was here. I was hungry. I was defeated. I was in love. I was afraid. I was hopeful. I had ideas and I had a good purpose and that's why I made works of art." - Felix Gonzalez-Torres