You can't help her.

About two and a half years ago I had gastric bypass surgery. I've never mentioned it here because I just haven't thought to mention it here. It's such a part of me now, that I forget that I'm "different" because of it. Maybe I will add a category for it on here...maybe. I'm not always so fond of "the being different" that has resulted from this surgery. Not only am I different because I am thinner; I am different because my digestive system is forever funky. And that, by far, has been the biggest adjustment I've had to make. That adjustment involved and will continue to involve the careful selection of foods I can successfully digest. That sounds simple enough, don't you think? Well, for me, it's not that simple. For an average person who is able to follow doctor's orders and not venture out into the realm of gastrointestinal research on her own body in an effort to prove she's the only gastric bypass patient ever who could eat anything she wants, it would be simple. I'm a different story.

Yesterday we were over at Bobbie Jo's house playing with the dogs when I noticed the bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs. Without any thought of consequence and without remembering that I had just eaten two tacos (a veritable feast for me), I gobbled up two handfuls of the most deliciously rich little morsels of milk chocolate with a thin sugar shell I had ever had.

"MMMM! Why don't we have any of these at our house? Is it almost Easter? I bet I could find these at Walgreen's now! I'm getting some today because they obviously don't make me sick! I didn't know they were out yet! YES! Cadbury Mini Eggs, I love you!"

Then I ate two more handfuls.

Oh

My

God.

I began to hurt all over in a matter of minutes. I had to lie down on the floor and roll around in a fit of horrible pain; I had to try 70 different positions (none of which eased the pain); I had to moan and bite my sleeve to keep from screaming; I had to go to the bathroom...twice...I had to lie down on Bobbie Jo's bed and roll around some more...all while PJ and Bobbie Jo looked on in disbelief. At one point, after I had thrown myself across a chair, PJ tried to console me. Bobbie Jo piped up with her usual, "You can't do anything for her. She ate the wrong thing. She knew it before she ate it. You can't help her."

Sometimes I hate her. This is the same woman who eats nothing but candy all day long and is so skinny you can't see her if she turns sideways. This is the same woman who, after listening to me cry all morning before work one day about how I wanted so badly to eat something sweet, called me later on her cell phone to tell me she had just read on a Tic Tac box that Tic Tacs didn't have any carbs, and why didn't I eat some Tic Tacs? I cannot write my response to her here because my mother-in-law reads this blog.

So anyway, that's how I spent my Saturday. It finally passed...literally. And I was better by the evening.

Today I'm going to Walgreen's to see if they have any of those eggs.

Comments

[O-No]

ok.... let me just say..... that i did say that.... but NOT in the tone above *smile*

i just know that once m-jo has eaten something and has that reaction... there is absolutely NOTHING anyone can do to help... NOTHING!!!

and not that it is a good thing..... but those were my mini eggs that i shared.....

[Slade]

I'm really excited that you've introduced the gastric by-pass as a topic here. Whenever I hear someone in the media talking about gastric by-pass (and related procedures), I always think of you because I don't personally know anyone who would be more qualified to intelligently discuss the experience.

I've heard all kinds of bizarre stories such as the high percentage of patients who become alcoholics - for a number of reasons - and in my mind I'm interviewing Mandy for her comments.

But it's not like I'm just going to email you and say "Hey - drink much lately?"

: )

Hardly.

This is such a private, personal topic to explore - but in my experience blogging, those are the golden veins in potential topics for creative exploration.

"Where you stumble, there your treasure lies." Or something like that.

I know I am not even a potential candidate for gastric by-pass, so I can only imagine the effect your words could have on someone who can truly identify.

I'm a cheerleader over here in your courage corner - encouraging you to explore this. I think you may be pleasantly overwhelmed by the positive response you'll get.

[vanna]

that bobbie jo, always so helpful =)