You say "hello." I say "idiot."

There's a Starbucks on the 2nd floor of the building where I work. I visit there frequently and I always order the same thing: a grande nonfat misto with three pumps of mocha and a little bit of whipped creme.  I order this at every Starbucks I visit, and every now and then I have to tell the barista how to make it, but most of them know what I want. The women who work at the Starbucks in my building, though, can never seem to get it right...unless I stand there and tell them every single step of the process...which I am happy to do since I'm spending $3.11 for the damn thing. (Yes, Noele, I just remembered I owe you $3.11. I'll pay you tomorrow - sorry.)

But what irritates me more than having to pay a fortune for a cup of coffee is the fact that the women who work at my Starbucks always "correct" my pronunciation of the word "misto." The conversation goes the same way every time I go up there. It doesn't matter which one of the women is working the counter. This is how it goes: I say, "Good Morning. I'll have a grande misto...non fat with three pumps of mocha and a little bit of whipped creme." The barista says, "You want a mislo?" I say, "A grande misto...non fat with three pumps of mocha and a little bit of whipped creme." She looks at me like she's thinking, "Poor white girl." And then she says, "You mean a mislo. OK then." She then looks at the one fixing the drinks and says, "She want a mislo." And rolls her eyes. And then she says, "What size?" To which I reply, "A grande misto...non fat with three pumps of mocha and a little bit of whipped creme." She then looks at me like she's thinking, "Poor stupid white girl." She says, "You want whole milk or skim milk?" To which I reply, "A grande misto...non fat with three pumps of mocha and a little bit of whipped creme." She then rolls her eyes right there in front of me and scribbles something on a cup and takes my money. When the woman fixing the drinks has prepared mine she yells out really loudly, "Grande mislo!" with a particular emphasis on the "mislo." And they all giggle or give each other a look as I grab my drink and walk off.

OK, so I was thinking the other day that maybe it is "mislo." Maybe I had been wrong all this time. But after a few minutes of googling, I still think I'm right. And I've even thought of trying to use another term for ordering the drink because I think a misto is really just a cafe au lait, but when I've tried that they look at me like I'm speaking Japanese and I end up going back to "misto" which at least they can translate as "mislo" in their minds.

Well, today the conversation was a bit different. Which, by the way, made me very happy since I've obviously had NOTHING to blog about in days...

Today (after bumming $3.11 off of Noele) I went up to Starbucks and this is how it went down: I said, "Good Morning. I'll have a grande misto...non fat with three pumps of mocha and a little bit of whipped creme." The barista said, "You want a mis-a-lo?" 

Wow. I had to step back for a moment. Now it's three syllables? I can't keep up!

I said, "A grande misto...non fat with three pumps of mocha and a little bit of whipped creme." She looked at me like she was thinking, "Poor white girl." And then she said, "You mean a mis-a-lo. OK then." She then looked at the one fixing the drinks and said, "She want a mis-a-lo." And rolled her eyes. And then she said, "What size?" To which I replied, "A grande misto...non fat with three pumps of mocha and a little bit of whipped creme." She then looked at me like she was thinking, "Poor stupid white girl." She said, "You want whole milk or skim milk?" To which I replied, "A grande misto...non fat with three pumps of mocha and a little bit of whipped creme." She then rolled her eyes right there in front of me and scribbled something on a cup and took my money. When the woman fixing the drinks had prepared mine she yelled out really loudly, "Grande mis-a-lo!" with a particular emphasis on the "mis-a-lo." I have no idea if they giggled or rolled their eyes when I walked off. I was too excited to notice.

I headed back to my meeting and within three minutes, a coworker (who shall remain nameless but will probably be the reason I will fall off the edge one day) said the following: "This situation is just going to esculate if we don't get a handle on it now."

Yes, it's going to S Q late.

I just sat there sipping my mis-a-lo and thanking the good Lord that I had made it through another morning with these freaks. 

Comments

[Jan]

Just to be safe, I think you're gonna have to just order "TEA". Of you could do like my best friend Rosie does at our favorite coffee spot (Lucy's) = "I want a Rosie latte." I even order it myself sometime. Just tell 'em you want a Mandy. :)

[PJ]

That same day I had the WORST cup of coffee I have ever had in my entire life from those people. After five sips, I had to toss it. They didn't have trouble pronouncing "Grande Breakfast Blend," but they sure made some bad coffee. It was a sad day. This morning I went to the Bad Ass Coffee Co. instead.

[Sally]

I have gone through the same thing when trying to order a misto -- and you are right! It's a MISTO, not a MISLO, not a MISALO...and it is exactly the same thing as a cafe au lait.

I learned that when I tried to order a cafe au lait at Starbucks way back when, and the barista looked at me like I was from mars. I hope hope hope that she was just playing dumb, because how can you work in a coffee shop and NOT know what a cafe au lait is??

It wasn't until I explained that I wanted coffee with non-fat steamed milk did she say, "Oh, you mean a misto," in the most condescending voice possible.

Whatever...just give me my caffeine and don't mess with me. What are they thinking messing with us before we get our fix??!

And have you ever seen misto on the menu board at Starbucks? I haven't.

[Linh]

Mandy, you are too much! I love your stories and how you tell them. You need to compile your stories into a book. I'm reading a book by Celia Rivenbark called Bless Your Heart Tramp, and other Southern Endearments. It is hilarious!