Today was one of those perfect almost fall kind of days...amber sun shining, big puffy clouds, deep blue sky, and a temperature that's just a notch or two cooler than it has been in months. It was the kind of day that Alabamians use to reassure themselves that summer will indeed end at some point. You know, it's like Mother Nature tossing us a bone.
These are the days that I most love working on a college campus. The hustle and bustle of students hurrying to class; professors gathered in small groups chatting over coffee; bicycles and buses whizzing by; squirrels acting a fool on the Quad - it's all a bit magical in the fall. And so I typically choose to walk to meetings and classes on these days so that I can soak it all in. Breaking free from my windowless dungeon of an office is a treat any time, but on a day like today, I was downright gleeful as I started my trek across campus for my 2:00 class. I mean, who wouldn't be giddy to be counted among Alabama's best and brightest? For a few minutes I can go back in time to the glorious Samford days...when I was one of the preppy sorority girls meandering through life with all my beautiful friends...
I was thinking as I stepped on to the sidewalk that I really should try to lighten my load. I tend to carry way too much stuff in my hands. I had both my Vera bag (with my MacBook Pro in it) and my ridiculously heavy purse on my shoulder. I also had my phone in one hand and my Tervis tumbler of unsweet tea in the other. "Maybe I should stop by my car and drop some of this off," I thought to myself. Before I had a chance to make a decision on that, though, I began to lose my balance. "Oh God, NO. I am not falling. NO." I started to panic. The sidewalk was crowded with students. Young, beautiful students. Students who were having no trouble with their balance. "Do NOT let this happen. Do not fall." I kept walking trying to steady myself. Then I knew it was going to happen, and I knew I wouldn't be able to prevent it.
All six feet of me went sailing through the air and landed face down and flat on the sidewalk. My bags flew one way. My phone ended up in the street. My Tervis rolled up the sidewalk. I'm pretty sure I screamed like a girl when I was falling. Three students stopped to help me. Thirty or so looked on in horror. I jumped up rather quickly while two young men gathered my belongings and repeatedly asked if I was OK. They really were sweet, but I couldn't even express my gratitude because all I really wanted was for the ground to open up and suck me in.
It wasn't until I was several hundred feet away that I realized the palms of my hands and my elbows were bleeding. My right knee was throbbing. (This is the same knee that my doctor stuck with the world's largest needle of cortisone last week.) I made it to the building where my class meets, and tried to cobble myself back together in the ladies' room with the two Hello Kitty bandaids I managed to find in that ridiculously heavy purse.
As I was leaving the restroom I overheard a young lady telling her friend, "My mawmaw fell down the stairs this weekend."
Bahaha!!! I actually saw this happening in my head. I'm so super sorry about your fall (and especially your knee) but that's some funny shit. I've been there myself. Except I WAS in my prime, maybe 20. I was looking a cute in my full circle skirt, heels (because I wouldn't be caught dead on campus without looking like I just stepped off the runway. I don't know how kids wear pj's to school without their moms dragging them back home by the ears.) Those stairs without risers always screw with me, so I always concentrate super hard. This day I must have concentrated a little too hard and fell UP the stairs and slid back down. My chin and knees were all busted and bleeding. Not only did of make an ass of myself but showed my ass...literally. That beautiful full circle skirt was all the was over my head and my thong was blazing in all of it's bright pink glory! I hobbled back to my car, went home and got back in the bed.
P.S. I think it's equally as funny that not only do you carry around band aids, but cute Hello Kitty ones! :)
Posted by: paige | September 12, 2012 at 09:17 PM
Can I just tell you that I am glad the story did not end with a "skirt in the air" kind of incident.
It could always be worse :)
Posted by: B Smith | September 12, 2012 at 09:30 PM
Oh my gosh Mandy. You make me laugh. I am literally laughing out loud. "Squirrels acting a fool on the Quad." I am so glad you are blogging again.
Posted by: virginia | September 12, 2012 at 09:43 PM
I agree viginia...I was there with you!! Hope nothing is hurt too badly, especially your pride!xxoo
Posted by: elaine | September 13, 2012 at 06:43 AM
OMG, Paige! That's hysterical. And it's the reason I 1) don't wear a thong and 2) do carry band-aids.
Posted by: Mandy | September 13, 2012 at 08:21 AM
Thanks for the laugh, sorry about your knees and pride though. I think this happens a lot more often than we think. One of my former babysitters did the exact thing in high school while walking across the quad in her high heels. So glad you're blogging again! :)
Posted by: LinhC | September 13, 2012 at 02:28 PM